One can focus upon Isaac Newton saying in order to understand the importance of being tactful: “Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy.”
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What does being tactful entail?
Being tactful is the ability to clearly communicate one’s message while being sensitive to those around oneself and not unintentionally offending anyone. Being tactful does not mean hiding what one really feels; it simply means presenting one’s ideas in a way that would make them the most appealing as well as inoffensive.
How to be tactful?
Being Tactful in Conversation
One needs to be tactful about what one wants to convey if one does not want to offend the other person. One needs to think before one speaks. Allow oneself a pause to consider how one word could be perceived, and also to prevent oneself from making hasty comments. One may indeed have an immediate gut reaction to do something one’s boss or friend is saying, but also take a moment to gather one’s thoughts before one comes right out and also say what one wants to say. Ask oneself if it is the best time to present one’s ideas, if one should spend some time finding a better way to be able to say what one wants to say, and if people will be receptive to the comments right then.
Though speaking with one’s gut can indeed lead to a lot of interesting ideas, it can also rather help to take a few minutes to formulate one’s thoughts first. If one instantly disagrees with something one’s boss says, for example, one is better off thinking of concrete examples for why one disagrees instead of just blurting out that one thinks it is a bad idea.
One needs to notice the people around oneself. One may want to make a comment about how excited one is for one’s wedding when one of the people there is going through a bitter divorce. Though one does not have to hide one’s enthusiasm forever, one may be better off finding a better time to make one’s comment.
Thinking before speaking:
Allow oneself a pause to consider how one’s words could be perceived, and also to prevent oneself from making hasty comments. One may have an immediate gut reaction to something one boss or friend is saying, but also take a moment to gather one’s thoughts before one come right out and say what one wants to say. Ask oneself if it is the best time to present one’s ideas if one should spend some time finding a better way to say what one wants to say, and if people will be receptive to one’s comments
Though speaking with one’s gut can indeed lead to a lot of interesting ideas, it can also help to take a few minutes to formulate one’s thoughts first. If one instantly disagree with something one boss says, for example, one is better off thinking of concrete examples as to why one disagrees instead of just blurting out that one thinks it is a bad idea.
Notice the people around oneself. One may want to make a comment about how excited one is about one’s wedding when one of the people there is going through a bitter divorce. Though one does have to hide one’s enthusiasm forever, one may be better off finding a better time to make your comment.
Deflect negative comments
If people are indeed making negative comments around one, one should avoid getting wrapped up in them if one wants to be tactful. This is especially true if one is in the workplace and does not want to be part of office politics. There are several ways in which one can deflect negative comments and also take the high road in testy situations.
Here are some techniques:
- Gently correct gossip.
- Say something non-committal.
- Say something positive.
- Change the subject.
- Remove oneself from the situation.
- Ask the person nicely to stop.